Have You Ever Listened To A Smile?
by Suzaku's Rose
Summary: Goddammit Roxas! Axel yelled as he pinned Roxas against the wall. Can't you see my problem! MY PROBLEM IS YOU!
1. Vulnerable

Hello Everyone! Wow I haven't been on here in a while. Since I have been here I have played Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2 and have fallen in love with the pairings RoxasXAxel and SoraXRiku. So hopefully I will have a Sora/Riku fic up after this one. This is a continuous song fic. Each chapter will have a different song attatched to it. 

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the songs affiliated with this fan fiction 

**KH 2 SPOILERS!**

_Also if you have any other ideas for songs for other chapters, let me know! Thanks!_

_AN - I took out some repeating verses so the story wouldn't drag._

_Chapter 1: Vulnerable_

_Share with me_ the blankets that your wrapped in  
because its cold outside _cold outside_ its cold out side  
share with me the _secrets_ that you kept in  
because its cold inside cold inside its _cold inside_

"Roxas come inside." Axel pleaded. Roxas had been sitting out in the rain with only his black coat for warmth. "I'm not hungry, I'm not cold and I don't want to come inside." Roxas retorted. He had been acting like this since he had been wanting to meet Sora. Why would anyone want to meet the person who made them this way? Axel sighed and Roxas closed his eyes, considering Axel's lack of words a surrender when he appeared beside him holding a small black umbrella over their heads. "Forget it. If we lose one of our members, we won't be able to call ourselves "Organization XIII" anymore and we won't sound as cool, got it memorized?" 

Roxas sighed and moved closer to Axel, two hours of heavy rain pouring down on him wasn't exactly a walk in the park and they didn't make these coats to be rain resistant. Roxas sighed and leaned his head on Axel's shoulder. "I'm sure you'd be able to find a new member...no one would miss me anyway." 

Axel sat up straight and turned to the side Roxas wasn't leaning on..."That's not true.." He murmured. "I would." 

"What did you say?" Roxas asked. 

"Nothing." 

"You said something." 

"Did not." 

"Did too!" 

"Did not!" 

"Did too!" 

"ARGH!" 

Axel lunged himself at Roxas pinning him down by his forearms which were stretched out like a plane. Axel put one knee on either side of Roxas and leaned over him. Breathing heavily and the sudden surge of movement. He leaned down and move closer to Roxas and saw his eyes go wide. The side of his face brushed past Roxas' cheek as he blew in his ear slowly and whispered. "And you think you're so strong..." 

and your _slowly shaking finger tips_   
show that _your scared like me_ so  
let _pretend_ were alone  
and I no you may be _scared  
_ and I no _we're unprepared  
_ but _ I don't care_

Roxas kicked one of his legs free and flipped Axel over slamming his arms hard against the ground. Pinned Axel's legs with his knees and sat on him. Axel groaned in pain. "Who's the strong one now?" Roxas declared. 

"Just because your fat and can crush me with your weight doesn't make you strong. Got it memorized?" 

"Hey I'm not fat! "Got it memorized?""Roxas mocked him. 

And the wrestling continued. 

About an hour later both Axel and Roxas were sprawled out on their backs like dead cockroaches, their breathing shallow. It had stopped raining. They heard the Xemnas sound the gong which meant everyone must be inside ten minutes. "Shit" Roxas muttered. "I don't have a spare robe." 

"You can borrow one of mine." 

"YOUR too fat." 

"Shut up!" 

Axel picked up Roxas and heaved him over his shoulder and took him to his room, with Roxas kicking and punching every step of the way. 

tell me _tell me_   
what makes you think that _you are invincible_ ?  
I can see it _in your eyes_ that you're so sure  
please don't tell me that I am the only one that's _vulnerable _   
_impossible..._

When Axel reached the last step up to his room on the third floor he thrust the door open and tossed Roxas on his bed. "Ow! That hurt you ass." 

"Well if you would walk like a good little boy I wouldn't have to." Axel replied simply as he stretched out his shoulder and took off his robe. As he did Roxas saw scars that looked like they were from a fire. 

"Hey what the hell are those?" 

"Are what?" 

"Those scars on your back?" 

"Oh nothing, it happened so long ago, I can't remember." 

Roxas said nothing after that. He knew when Axel didn't like talking about something, he was very adamant about keeping it quiet. 

Roxas found himself just staring at Axel, he couldn't tear his eyes away from those scars and when Axel finally caught his eyes he smirked as Roxas looked away and thrust a robe at him. 

"Come on and get dressed we're going to be late." 

Roxas "hmphed" and took of his shirt and Axel turned around. "You can look at me Axel it's not like you've never seen a man naked before, or haven't you?" Axel threw a pillow at him. 

"So..." Axel started. "How are you and Namine doing?" 

Roxas threw the pillow back at him. "JUST because she is Kairi's nobody and just because I'm Sora's does not make us lovers Axel! "Got it memorized?" She is just helping me figure out a few things about what's going on." Roxas sighed and put on Axel's robe, which went down past his feet. "I would like to meet him though" 

Axel turned around and shook his head not this again...please, "Don't worry about it Roxas. Come on, let's go." 

Roxas tripped on his way out the door and Axel burst out laughing. "Come on get up." Axel held out a hand to him and Roxas thrust him down with him. They laughed and then looked at the clock and realized that they only had two minutes left. Axel picked Roxas up and they bolted. "Don't worry about meeting Sora, Roxas, just forget about it." 

"You just don't see it the way I see it." Roxas mumbled. 

I was _born to tell you_ I love you  
isn't that a song already  
I get a B in originality  
and _it's true I cant go on_ without you  
your smile _makes me see clearer_   
if you could _only see_ in the mirror _what I see_

When they arrived the majority of the Organization was already seated and Axel and Roxas took their places corresponding with their numbers, which left Roxas at the end of the table. They saw the lights dim, signaling for the start of the meeting. 

"All rise." They heard a force say and saw Xemnas waltz into the room. "Be seated." 

They all sat silently as Xemnas brought out an enormous black suit case and heaved it onto the table. He opened it and there were hundreds of little tiny pockets and in them contained test tubes of all different colors with corks stuck in them. "In these bottles" Xemnas began to explain, "Are nobodies. Each bottle one released contains one hundred nobodies. It is your job to go to each different world and scatter them. These will keep Sora, Donald and Goofy distracted causing more heartless to form. Therefore, if there are more heartless, there are more hearts to use to our advantage. 

You will each go in pairs and I will go on my own. I will hand six of you a bottle with the type of nobody you will be scattering and your partner." Xemnas took each bottle and carried it to each person. One of them was Axel. Axel took the bottle with the bright read liquid and read the tag with his nobody and the name of his partner, "Roxas." 

On the inside, Axel smiled widely because if anyone showed anything other than complete and utter concentration and seriousness in the presence of Xemnas, they would be thrown out. There was always something about Roxas that got to Axel. He couldn't quite place his finger on it. But when he talked, he didn't sound like anyone else that he knew. It is said that you only meet ten real people in your life and everyone else is just carbon copies. Axel felt as if he had met them all, until Roxas came along...Roxas made him feel...like he had a heart...and that feeling made him writhe with desire...desire for... 

slow down girl _your not going anywhere_   
just wait around and _ see_   
maybe I am much more _you never no what lies ahead_   
I promise _I can be anyone_ _I can be anything_   
just because _you were hurt_ doesn't mean _you shouldn't bleed  
_ I can be anyone anything _I promise I can be what you need_

"Meeting Dismissed." Xemnas boomed and left the room leaving the members to find their partners. Axel put Roxas in a head lock and said, "Come on loser, we have to go to Agrabah and scatter some nobodies." 

"I don't see why we have to do this, there is enough heartless to keep them at bay, we can't even be seen..." 

They were outside by now it was getting dark. The enormous building lit up by hearts of those forgotten. Finally Axel couldn't take it anymore and took Roxas by the wrists and slammed him up against the wall. 

"What the hell are you-" Roxas started. 

"Shut up! Stop talking about Sora, stop thinking about him, just forget about it. Your place is here with the Organization, with Xemnas, with me! God Damnit!" Axel punched the wall two inches away from Roxas' face. He leaned into Roxas got millimeters away from his face and thrust him back. 

"Just forget it Roxas, never mind. Sorry. I'm going to turn in. I'll see you tomorrow." 

"But-" 

"Just **forget it."** His voice dripped like thick tears, sad, silent, desperate. 

Roxas watched as Axel left for his room. After a couple of minutes he left as well but before that he looked at the stars and wondered, why was Axel being this way? They were best friends right? Can't Axel see he is the only one that he can trust? Why can't he except change? Why can't he love Roxas for who he is?" 

"Love..." Roxas thought and chuckled in spite of himself. "I almost forgot..." 

"We don't love anymore..." 

tell me tell me  
_what makes you think that you are invincible_   
I can see it in your eyes that _your so sure_   
please don't tell me that _I am the only one that's vulnerable  
impossible..._


	2. Favorite Regret

Hello Everyone! Here is another chapter of: 'Have You Ever Listened to A Smile?' Thank you very much for the positive feedback I have received on the story so far. I really like to write back to reviewers so that is what I will do at the beginning of every new chapter. 

Bubblegum Head - Thanks! Yeah when I first heard that song I replayed it 127308123 times. Here's the update for you, thanks for reviewing! Oh! Thanks for adding me to your Story Alert list. 

Sora Keyblader - Haha I love the idea of those two wrestling each other though I feel as if we were to actually watch it Axel would dominate so bad it wouldn't even be funny. I am glad you liked it. Thanks for the add! 

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any songs affiliated with this fan fiction 

Chapter 2: Favorite Regret 

Will you be my favorite regret,  
Could I be your _sweetest mistake_ ?  
Trade _one step back_ for two ahead  
Just a little time that's all  
_Don't be afraid to fall  
_ This _catch _ I won't forget,  
_My favorite regret_ . 

Axel slammed the door to his room and threw himself on his bed. He reached into the top drawer of his night stand and took out a small red rubber ball. He laid on his back and proceeded to throw it up in the air and catch it one handed. "Ah.." He sighed. "I shouldn't have done that, not when he feels so alone like that." He threw the ball up and caught it again.

When Roxas first joined the Organization he looked at him almost like a little brother, someone that he could take care of and just be there for. When someone is first turned into a nobody they don't really know what hits them until something traumatic or amazing happens and you try to grasp it and you just...can't. 

When this first happened to Roxas all he could say was..."What...? Where is it?" Like he was literally searching for the feeling. Axel took him outside and explained it to him and he took a step back from him, like he didn't even know who he was. He hid himself in his room for a week after that. Then...Xemnas stepped in and cultivated Roxas' anger, used it for his own purpose.

"Yes Roxas, feel that rage? That is what someone has done to you. Don't you want it back?" And since then, he has been wanting to meet Sora. 

Ever since Xemnas stepped in, Axel made sure to always run a little ahead of Roxas, make sure that the road was safe for him, but lately Roxas had been running ahead of him, asking too many questions, about the Organization, about Sora about him...he couldn't let Roxas know everything...especially about him. 

Won't you _ let me chip away the stone_   
Are you really _ better off alone_ ?  
Won't you _let your guard down_ one more time  
Just _like I've done_ mine  
_We'll look until we find_ something neither will forget  
_My favorite regret_

Roxas returned to his room resigned. He couldn't help but think about what happened with Axel. What did he want from him? Hadn't he always been loyal to him. Even if the Organization was or not? He decided that he wasn't just going to wait to talk to Axel, but the things he wanted to say, he couldn't say it in person. He returned to his room.

He rummaged around in his desk until he found a pen and some paper and began writing Axel a note. 

**Look, I don't know what's going on..Or why you are acting this way but, we'll get through it together, alright? Don't worry about it. Just let me take care of everything. If you are stressed about going to Agrabah tomorrow, just forget it, we'll do it together, alright? See you then. Sorry if I made you mad.**

**Roxas XIII**

Axel's room was only a few rooms down from him so he went and slipped it under the door. And walked away quickly and quietly in case Axel was asleep. 

Axel stopped throwing his red ball when he saw a piece of paper slipped under his door. He went over to pick it up and saw the words Roxas had written in his juvenile scrawl. He chuckled slightly and put it down on his desk. He had a sudden jolt of memory.

This "feeling" he remembered was so different than anything he ever remembered before. It left him empty and shallow…this "feeling..." He lay down in his bed...He regretted not going after Roxas when he knew he walked right past his room. Maybe tomorrow will be different. Maybe tomorrow will be better. 

Maybe tomorrow will just be. 

Will you be my favorite regret?  
_Cut the strings attached_ but save the thread  
And I know your feelings are _probably right_   
But _just this once_ tonight  
As you lay in your bed  
_Place a little on this bet_   
_My favorite regret..._


	3. No Other Way

**Hello Everyone! Sorry I haven't been able to update quicker. I have been wrapped up in my other fan fiction, "Note To Self." In the Harry Potter section. Here is the third chapter of: Have You Ever Listened To A Smile? **

**Disclaimer - I am merely a geek in a basement, I own nothing **

**AN - It is actually beneficial to listen to the song made for the chapter while reading it. It makes it flow better. These songs can be found on or You Tube (If you want the artist name for the songs let me know **

**Reviewers: None from chapter two sad face. I would like reviews but who wouldn't I am not going to be n00bish and what not and say "IFS U DON'T REVIEWZ THANZ NOZ MOREZ" or anything like that so here is chapter 3. **

**AN 2 - This song is kind of short so the chapter will be as well. I also have work tomorrow so..yeah **

**Chapter 3: No Other Way**

When _your mind is a mess_   
_so is mine_   
I can't sleep  
cause _it hurts_ when I think  
My thoughts aren't at peace  
with the plans that we make  
_chances we take_   
they're, not yours and not mine  
there's waves that can break  
all the _words that we said  
_ and the _words that we mean_   
_words can fall short  
_ can't see the unseen  
cause the world is awake  
for somebody's sake now, please close your eyes woman  
_please get some sleep_

Axel walked over to Roxas' room trying to ignore what happened last night in hopes Roxas wouldn't bring it up. He knew Roxas never left his door locked so he crept in quietly and found him sound asleep.

It was early. Axel had gotten no sleep the night before thinking about the things Roxas asked about, the things him and Roxas were going to do in Agrabah today, just...Roxas. He didn't really get why he was thinking about him so much lately.."Maybe it's indigestion." Axel thought and shrugged it off.

He looked over Roxas in his sleeping form and almost did a double take. "He looks so angelic! Not like he actually does in real life." Axel chuckled. Just ready to ruin Roxas' morning.

He pounced on him and heard Roxas scream, "OW! WHAT THE FU-AXEL?!"

Axel stretched out on his back on top of Roxas. "Oh sorry, didn't see you there." Axel said with a wicked grin. He had Roxas pinned at the arms.

"Isn't it a little early in the morning for this Axel?" Roxas said annoyed that he had been woken up so early.

"You know you couldn't wait to see my shining face." Axel responded.

"Well what do you plan on doing up there, kiss me or something?" Roxas said then realizing what he just said in his tired state fell silent. "I meant...fish me!"

"Fish you? What the hell is that? sounds dirty."

"Shut up."

"Can you shut me up by fishing me?"

"What?"

"Oh Nothing." Axel said and they both laughed.

At about 6 am the gong rang again with signaled the Organization to be downstairs ready to except their next mission.

"Can I borrow your robe again?" Roxas asked. "Mine hasn't come out of the wash yet."

"Sure, except it looks like your wearing a black wedding dress." Axel teased. "Shorty."

"Hey I am not short! I am 5'8"." Roxas said pouting and crossing his arms.

"Yeah take about a foot off that."

Roxas pushed Axel out the door while he changed.

"It's not like it's anything I haven't seen!" Axel called from in the hallway laughing.

Roxas just rolled his eyes thinking for some reason Axel would actually be able to see this. He put on his robe and opened the door and they both proceeded down the Xemnas' quarters to be given more information on their assignment.

And know that _if I knew  
all of the answers I would  
not hold them from you  
_ know all of the things that i'd know  
we told each other, _there is no other way_ mm mm 

"So, so, so when are we going?" Roxas said anxiously.

"I don't know."

"You think Sora will be there?"

"Dunno"

"What time are we leaving."

"Dunno"

"Why-"

"URGH." Axel was growing impatient. Sometimes, Roxas would get into these nervous stages where he wouldn't stop asking questions. "When I know, you'll be the first person to know."

When they arrived in Xemnas' meeting they had already seen everything else getting into their gear to fly on ships to their destinations. Axel brought the red bottle out of his pocket and showed it to Xemnas and he game Axel a red key and red suits to change into for their journey.

Roxas had noticed that Axel had kind of been abnormally quiet today. He knew that Axel had made the best of effort to act cheery as if nothing was wrong this morning but he had fallen back into his one word answers.

There was something bugging him but he just couldn't lay his finger on it. Would asking be rude? He didn't know. Actually...recently...Axel was all that was on Roxas' mind. Just making sure that he was okay. Maybe this trip would turn everything around...Roxas just felt as if Axel is moving farther away from him, to a place where he can't follow..He remembered what this use to feel like..what was the word...?

Desire?

Well _too much silence can be misleading_   
_You're drifting_ I can hear it in the way that you're breathing  
We don't really need to find reason  
Cause out the same door that it came well its leaving _its leaving_   
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season  
_Resolve is just a concept_ that's as dead as the leaves  
But at least we can sleep, its all that we need  
_When we wake we will find  
Our minds will be free to go to sleep_

Axel knocked Roxas on the head. "Come one loser, we have to go change to we can leave."

Roxas nodded absent-mindedly still trying to figure out what was going on with Axel. He made a resolve to ask him the last day of the trip so at least when they got back, everything would be resolved.

Hopefully.

And know that _if I knew  
all of the answers I would  
not hold them from you_   
know all of the things that i'd know 'cause  
_we told each other, there is no other way _ mm mm 

**Again! Sorry for the short chapter! I wanted Agrabah to be more in detail so I wanted to completley dedicate a chapter to that. Please R&R!**


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